Find Your Carrot
Those who participate in weight loss reality tv shows have several HUGE carrots dangled in their faces motivating them to lose weight and get healthy. They are removed from family and jobs, each huge stresses, and then provided with top trainers and nutritionists to help achieve their goal. The winner could receive $250,000+, an expensive vacation, a new home, or a fancy car..... on top of a brand new body! What an incredible deal! The last time I stepped on the scale the numbers 237 stared back at me. I was beyond horrified and detested what I had done to my body, I hated myself. Through past experience I knew that another diet wouldn't help, diets never work. I needed a carrot. And I wasn't going on a reality tv show.
My carrot came into the world, loud and proud on March 16th 2006. She was definitely a gift since there is a 17+ year gap between her and my son. Tickled pink to be a Mom again! And a girl! Within 60 seconds of life she had tried to jump off the table!! From first look I could tell that she was something special and deserved more than I could give her, right now. I was not worthy of her. She deserved more than what I had become, a lazy,fat mess. I was ashamed of who I was and there was no way I wanted my daughter to see me like this. How could she love me when I didn't even love myself? Is it possible to drop roughly 80 lbs and get my head together at the same time? Was it possible to be healthy, fit and fabulous at age 40? Was it practical to expect to become a good role model and Mom she would be proud of? Determination to achieve all of these intentions fueled me for the next 18 months.
After being cleared from the doctor I began a simple walking plan 8 weeks later, but damn was it hard! I will be honest with you, it was extremely difficult getting my body to move after being sedentary for nearly 5 years. This fact forced me to dig very deep, every single day. I didn't mind this because the hard would not stop me, I was sick and tired of being fat, sick and tired. Plus, I FOUND MY CARROT!! In fact, I lived with my carrot, which meant daily accountability. Time passed. She grew while I shrank. It was wonderful! We walked every day, sometimes twice. Weeks turned into months and walking became a habit that I looked forward to. One day, a lady in our neighborhood referred to me as the" Incredible Shrinking Woman". She has no idea how that comment keeps me moving and still motivates me to this very day. The following year we purchased a top of the line Deuter backpack to go hiking. We called it her Cadillac backpack since it cost nearly as much as my first clunker, totally worth the investment. She was on my back daily, I carried her everywhere. Soon we hit the trails and experienced overnight backpacking trips. It felt great to be in shape to be able to do that! We took a 3-day backpacking trip when she was 2 yrs old and it was absolutely amazing. Those 80 lbs I needed to shed did not have a chance with this new activity.
Walking lead to backpacking, walking also lead to running and then to cycling. YAY! Finding a way to move my body (and enjoy it) was key. My nutrition changed entirely too. Eating more fruits and veggies was a challenge at first but got easier along the way. There was no plan to give up meat at that time. However, in September of 2011 I quit eating meat entirely. These changes were not a diet, this was my lifestyle now. A lifestyle that agrees with me, one that keeps me healthy and happy.
I tried something new while getting myself together.... self love, which is something I have struggled with for many years. Letting go of old habits and being critical, just downright mean to myself wasn't working anyway. This self-loathing behavior had to stop so it was not passed on to my daughter. As her role model she will never hear me utter a negative thought about my body. Never. My body issues are my own and will not ever be placed on her. Hopefully she will learn from me and never feel ashamed of her body or hate who she is,
It's hard for me to grasp that 'my carrot' will be 12 years old next week. I'm grateful to report that I have kept my promises to God, my daughter, and myself these past dozen years.Those 80 pounds did not return nor will they ever. Plus I have been cigarette free for 13 yrs! It's also refreshing to be looking forward to my 49th birthday soon, as that hasn't always been the case. Birthdays are now considered levels... and I plan to level up as I get older.
My carrot came into the world, loud and proud on March 16th 2006. She was definitely a gift since there is a 17+ year gap between her and my son. Tickled pink to be a Mom again! And a girl! Within 60 seconds of life she had tried to jump off the table!! From first look I could tell that she was something special and deserved more than I could give her, right now. I was not worthy of her. She deserved more than what I had become, a lazy,fat mess. I was ashamed of who I was and there was no way I wanted my daughter to see me like this. How could she love me when I didn't even love myself? Is it possible to drop roughly 80 lbs and get my head together at the same time? Was it possible to be healthy, fit and fabulous at age 40? Was it practical to expect to become a good role model and Mom she would be proud of? Determination to achieve all of these intentions fueled me for the next 18 months.
After being cleared from the doctor I began a simple walking plan 8 weeks later, but damn was it hard! I will be honest with you, it was extremely difficult getting my body to move after being sedentary for nearly 5 years. This fact forced me to dig very deep, every single day. I didn't mind this because the hard would not stop me, I was sick and tired of being fat, sick and tired. Plus, I FOUND MY CARROT!! In fact, I lived with my carrot, which meant daily accountability. Time passed. She grew while I shrank. It was wonderful! We walked every day, sometimes twice. Weeks turned into months and walking became a habit that I looked forward to. One day, a lady in our neighborhood referred to me as the" Incredible Shrinking Woman". She has no idea how that comment keeps me moving and still motivates me to this very day. The following year we purchased a top of the line Deuter backpack to go hiking. We called it her Cadillac backpack since it cost nearly as much as my first clunker, totally worth the investment. She was on my back daily, I carried her everywhere. Soon we hit the trails and experienced overnight backpacking trips. It felt great to be in shape to be able to do that! We took a 3-day backpacking trip when she was 2 yrs old and it was absolutely amazing. Those 80 lbs I needed to shed did not have a chance with this new activity.
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| The early days |
Walking lead to backpacking, walking also lead to running and then to cycling. YAY! Finding a way to move my body (and enjoy it) was key. My nutrition changed entirely too. Eating more fruits and veggies was a challenge at first but got easier along the way. There was no plan to give up meat at that time. However, in September of 2011 I quit eating meat entirely. These changes were not a diet, this was my lifestyle now. A lifestyle that agrees with me, one that keeps me healthy and happy.
I tried something new while getting myself together.... self love, which is something I have struggled with for many years. Letting go of old habits and being critical, just downright mean to myself wasn't working anyway. This self-loathing behavior had to stop so it was not passed on to my daughter. As her role model she will never hear me utter a negative thought about my body. Never. My body issues are my own and will not ever be placed on her. Hopefully she will learn from me and never feel ashamed of her body or hate who she is,
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| DK200 Sixth Consecutive Finish |
It's hard for me to grasp that 'my carrot' will be 12 years old next week. I'm grateful to report that I have kept my promises to God, my daughter, and myself these past dozen years.Those 80 pounds did not return nor will they ever. Plus I have been cigarette free for 13 yrs! It's also refreshing to be looking forward to my 49th birthday soon, as that hasn't always been the case. Birthdays are now considered levels... and I plan to level up as I get older.
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